Like Everyone Else

I want to be like everyone else
So no one will point and stare
To walk down the street not attracting attention
No notice, no mention, no hint of despair
A normal reaction
A standard response
The same as everyone wants

--Side Show

I never wanted to actually BE like everyone else, I just wanted to LOOK like everyone else. Good things come to those who are skinny, right? Over the weekend, I learned that life for someone who is skinny is not all the media and society make it out to be. 

On Saturday, my friends and I celebrated the wedding of one of our former coworkers. We had a fabulous time drinking, eating, and dancing. Every once in while I would step outside with one of my friends while they smoked a cigarette. My one friend, J, and I were chatting about how we don't really talk to too many people from our high school. While I enjoyed my time with the friends I had, a lot of people outside of my social circle were cruel. During high school I was a devout Christian. On Wednesday mornings, we had a Bible study at school. Many times, as students were coming in to school, we were leaving the room where our study was held, most of us toting our Bibles. I was labeled a "goody goody" and on top of it an overweight one. J, on the other hand, was labeled a goth with an eating disorder. She was, and still is, very skinny. Just as I was, and still am, overweight. We somehow found that our situations in school were similar. We were both ridiculed for our weight. I did my best to NOT stick out in high school, but I was still seen. I just wanted to blend into the crowd. I did not want to be noticed for my appearance. 

This still rings true to how I feel today, most of the time. I want to be noticed now, but not because of my appearance. I want to be noticed because I have a big smile on my face or because I am laughing uncontrollably. I want people to notice that I can be happy wearing a size 18 because I feel good about WHO I AM. I want a normal reaction....the same as everyone wants...whether skinny or overweight.